Advice #4: Check your child/teen/friend for cutting.
Cutting seems to be the new outlet for emotion these days. And almost everyone in their teens or twenties has cut at one time or another. Many do it for attention. Those are the easy ones to spot. Those are the people who WANT you to find the scars.They feel lonely and want to be the center of attention. In those cases, it usually gets resolved once the problem is addressed and a solution is reached. Its the ones who aren't looking for attention that are more difficult.
I have learned in my experience that many people from my generation feel they need a means to escape their problems. They feel the mental or emotional pain is too great and the only release is the distraction of physical pain. I should know, I used to cut, as well as my current and previous roommates. The only difference is that it becomes an addiction. A drug. You start needing it more and more, start cutting deeper and deeper. Its this group you need to watch out for. We don't cut for attention, in fact we generally hide out scars pretty well. I used to cut my upper thighs with a pocket knife. One of my friends used nail clippers to pinch the skin over a previous scar on her hip. Some have been know to cut their inner thigh, stomach, upper arms, and legs.
And it won't always be a knife or sharp object that the cutter will use. Rubber bands, paper, credit card edges, toe nail clippers, scissors, box cutters, glass, pocket knives, hot water, razor blades, electrical outlets, etc. are all things people have used to injure themselves.
Now, how do you stop someone from hurting themselves? Its not as simple as taking away their tool, they'll just get another one. And keeping a close eye on where they previously cut might not help either. They'll just cut somewhere else. The best way is to find out what is the cause. Why are they hurting themselves? What specifically is causing them that grief? How can you help? That last one is more for the parent (or friend) then them. They generally won't ask for help and sometimes may even flat out refuse help. But, just like any other addiction, they NEED help. Try to find out what's going on at school or work. How's their relationships with friends and family? Girlfriend or boyfriend? Has any of that changed recently? Any deaths or traumatic events happen?
Signs of Self-Injury
- Unexplained scarring.
- Scars that are red or pink. The darker the color the more recent the cut.
- Tenderness in an area there shouldn't be.
- Unnecessary stubbornness to reveal a part or parts of the body.
- Unusually long periods of alone time in bedroom or bathroom. (Most masochism occurs at home.)
- Emotionally distant when talking about normal topics (I.E. school, work, life, friends, etc.)
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