Death

      Tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. I have to alternate between tv and the computer. Ironically, Dead Like Me. I picked that show in particular to desensitize  myself while I write this and think about the past. Its been almost a month now since she passed. Ashley Sherman, age 24. Born January 28th 1986, passed away October 29th, 2010. We were close, but not as close as we could have been. I knew a lot about her, more than most of her family and friends. Without realizing it, I went through the 5 Stages of Grief.  When I was first told via Facebook, I assumed it was a sick joke and denied it. It wasn't until I got a call from a second friend in another state the next day did I start to believe. And even then I didn't want to. I finally accepted the truth when I got the text from her family. Once I found out, I was pissed. Why? She was only 24. She was working her way through college to become a teacher. She just moved out. She had her whole life ahead of her! Why her? Why not me? I don't have any path or future in the planning. I don't have a college education or a career. I don't have any dreams. Then I thought, why bother? Why bother doing anything if I might die tomorrow? It was only a couple of weeks prior to that die that I myself may have had a stroke at work. Why plan for a future I may never see? Eventually I trudged on, shuffling my feet on step at a time. I'm still not over, not used to it. I still want to text her. Call her. Message her. I still remember. I still get sad. I wish I could have changed things. I wish things were different. I STILL wish it had been me instead. But I can't change the past, just remember it.

David C. Brown Funeral Home Belleville, MI: Obituaries

Above is the link to the funeral home where her body is laid to rest.

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